In 2010, Otley, my nephew-in-law, died by suicide. At 36 years old, he had paranoid schizophrenia since the age of eighteen. Attending the Celebration of Life service, I listened to the eulogy and the rendition of Otley playing his guitar to a piece of music by Jimi Hendrix. An overwhelming urge to start clapping my hands overcame me and, at the same time, I sensed Elsie, my mother-in-law right behind me ushering me up to make a speech. I tried to shrug it off as I am not good at public speaking, but the urge was too strong to resist. Whether I liked it or not, Elsie was going to make sure I didn’t back out. As soon as the rendition ended, the Minister asked if anyone wanted to say a few words. With apprehension, I stood up and tentatively approached the front. Very uncomfortable and embarrassed, I thought, “I don’t know what to say – I didn’t rehearse this, and I sure didn’t expect to be giving a speech. Oh well, I have no choice – Elsie is making sure of that.” I spoke about how much Otley meant to me, how proud I was of him, and the person he was. In the end and, again out of my control, the undeniable urge to clap my hands was overwhelming. Here we go, and as I started clapping my hands, everyone in Church stood up and joined in. Afterward, I got the distinct impression that I needed to do this for Otley, for him to know how much everyone loved him. As for Elsie, my mother-in-law, she died in 2007, three years earlier, from Alzheimer’s. A long-drawn-out illness, she suffered through the devastating stages of this disease. During Otley’s eulogy, it would be the first time she had made herself known to me that I was conscious of – a heartfelt moment, as it was a blessing to feel her presence and, yet at the same time, I was wrought with a degree of sadness as I missed her so much. The comfort came as I realized Elsie was there to greet Otley on the other side. They are both together, at peace, happy, and no longer suffering. I’ve had many more visitations letting me know they are still around.

“Death is only an end to our physical presence, our spirit lives on.”

My journey has been one of finding spirituality, an inner knowing, and a renewed sense of strength and well-being.

I have the ability to connect to spirit on the other side, and it is with certainty I can tell you our loved ones are around us, and I would like to tell you of one such occurrence. My husband’s father died the year before I met Rob. Rob was in the Army Reserves and a day before being sent away for training I was at his door saying goodbye. Newly dating, I was concerned that Rob would forget all about me by the time he returned. We were hugging and kissing, and instantly I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder from behind as if to give me comfort. Inexplicably, I knew it was Rob’s father, and yet I had never met him.

Rob’s father has been a mainstay in our lives, helping from the other side. There has been many instances he has made himself known in so many ways, his presence felt and seen.

Grief is surmountable and measured by the longing of their physical presence. I can say with certainty even though you may not see your loved one, they are with you always.

It is time to take stock and reflect on the year that has just ended. I need to say goodbye to 2024 with all of its uncertainties and hardships – It has been a difficult year for all! I also need to leave the year with a sense of gratitude for the positive things I have experienced – a coming together of like-minded individuals in our spiritual community, new and old friendships, a sense of growth and healing, and most of all keeping my family safe. 

2025 – As the world continues to evolve may we all be blessed with strength, health, and peace. I wish all of you a happy and prosperous new year, one of dreams, wishes, blessings, and goodwill.

In the coming year I will be bringing more ideas to the table … stay tuned for these exciting and creative projects underway!